“Hi, I know you are a good friend of Fredrick, he told me about you. My name is Keone…”

“….”

“look, I don’t know if he told me about us, but I was really wondering if you could tell me what was going on with him.”

“I’m sorry I don’t know”

“well then, sorry to disturb you, if you see him, could you tell him Keone misses him?”

“ok”

“thanks, well, I better go.”

This conversation has been lingering in my mind over and over again after I bumped into Eric in the gym just now. He didn’t know me at all, just that I saw him in facebook and recognize him from Fredrick’s profile. I wanted so badly to spit my gut out and ask him about Fredrick, but eventually my cowardliness won and I swallowed my gut back in the stomach and practically ran myself out from the gym without making eye contact with anyone.

All of a sudden, the Fredrick memory surfaced again and I am feeling really sad since. So maybe it is time to talk about it as an ending.

OK, I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! I don’t get it, how could a person hates me so much he didn’t even bother to tell me what upset him so much. It was a really great beginning 3 weeks ago, pleasant chat, sweet sms, shy meetings, everything was so wonderful, I had such a good feeling about him and how I wished we could go further. But after the weekend I didn’t top up my mobile phone, things has gone from bad to worse, at first he still replied a simple message, then it completely stopped.

He is such a nice guy, so if he did that to me it means something really wrong must have happened. I couldn’t think of what I did so wrong that pissed him off so much. I tried to pursue, I tried to tell him how I missed him, but it didn’t work. So after 2 sleepless night and literally terrible productivity in work, I was completed crushed, so I had told myself to get out of this awkward situation. I had to, if the other person didn’t care, I should really just let go and move on.

Of course moving on is a timely issue. But I really thought things would work out for us, it was a shame, and terribly shamed that I didn’t know why. And the worse thing is I have embedded the whole Orange Moon album with his memory, I couldn’t give up Khalil Fong, so I have to live with this scar for a very long time whenever I listen to the romantic music.

I never mean to hurt anyone intentionally, let alone the person didn’t want to give me a chance to explain. It kills me that this happened to Fredrick, I feel so sorry to him and I know it would never get better anymore. So this is the last blog about him. I do wish him happy in life and find someone he loves in time.

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