Alvin Rendezvous
If I didn’t count, I would have really surprised that I didn’t see Alvin for 8 days, that’s the longest time we have ever been apart. I honestly had not really been enjoying the time during the first few days especially we had some edgy topics over the phone. Or perhaps it was due to that, that this few days I was particularly cool about it. I didn’t really miss him that much after the adjustment and just going back to my own self and the life I have been doing for such a long time.
I didn’t feel so sad about it, neither way, I knew relationship is just too costly to play for me and obviously my mentality and physical as well are not ready to get involve in this, let alone the differences of our expectations towards each other.
Yet, last night I met up with him for gym, his way again, and I am not really complaining. Seeing him in person is always a happy thing because his emotion is comical and it soothes you and makes you happy too. And we had gym and he had dinner and he came over my place for a little while (to insert the gap before meeting his friends). We kissed, it was always good kissing with him but he was a little too intense. Then he left, and I was back to my own self again.
During the dinner, which he had in Thai Express and spent over RM20 for one meal, I commented that I could not afford to eat like that in a normal day and it was so not worth it, while he could because he obviously work hard and earn hard too. So I gave him a conclusion that my lifestyle (point of value) and his are such a big gap. He asked me what I was trying to bring out. I said nothing. It’s better to leave it this way, because we all know where it was going to lead.
I think our relationship is going downhill, and I have no determination to recover it due to various reasons (we all know what), obviously one should never try to change for another just because wanting to suit another, because over time, one will have not accept the change and loathe the other and it would end awkwardly.