My initial plan to visit Malaysia again is late May when the weather in Xiamen is finally kicking my arse with summer sun, so that I won’t miss any nice weather and wouldn’t feel bad about getting hot again (mind you, I really just mean the weather).

But well, life isn’t what it should be when you least expect it. On a beautiful gloomy day of sprinkle, my boss gave me a bomb that I was given a fabulous chance of going to Penang on a 3 day workshop, and eventually suggested I should stay longer like 2 weeks since I could work in my hometown, getting more time with my family, and also more easier to work with the current project.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family (except Father, he is more like an old fart), especially cutie, but living with my family means I don’t have my own bed, I don’t have good internet to work at home, or worse, surf net, and I don’t have privacy to get overly-exposed at home, and worse of all, hot weather. Of course the food I missed, the cheesecakes I missed, the coffee I missed, the getting lazy and all house-chores being done by Mother I missed, and playing with cutie I missed, but you know, statistically speaking, it is inconvenient for me to carry out work and life, and oh did I mention I have no idea how am I supposed to go to work and back because I don’t have a car?

Then again, maybe I should be more socialized by meeting with my family again and live a private life on spending time with actual human being for the next 2 weeks, but somehow, now I think about I will need to spend 8 and half hours transiting planes just simply, fantastic, fucking fantastic!

Your smile

will always be one of my favorite things

like a sunny day on a clear ocean view beach

and evenin’ breezes through window screens

Your smile

makes me feel just like a child inside

like cycling a bicycle with fellow friends

and playing dirt from an after rain

Your smile

like traveling on a lonely road,

clear day, good scene,

Your smile

like walking on a cold night,

exhaling smoke, silly me

Your smile

so much joy from such a simple thing,

like watching a dog’s fun loving face ,

devoted eyes ,

and a lick on my face and

your SMILE

(Inspired by Josh Turner’s Your Smile)

According to myth, this is a very strange happening in Xiamen, that day when I woke up and saw everything white outside, I almost thought I was still dreaming, or my eyes wasn’t functioning very well from sleepy eyes. And by the time I got down the elevator and looked up, I couldn’t see the top of the building, it was covered in fog, it was a little scary, but mysterious in the same time.

And another scary thing, it seems everywhere was wet, luckily I closed my glass door all the time, so my apartment wasn’t affected, but the floor, the glass outside were all condensed in drops of water. And even walls are damp, it feels like everywhere is moldy.

I guessed that is how a foggy day has been, and you know what is the problem ? I am not getting any of it! Oh Fog!

“I LOVE THE WEATHERRRRR~~~~!”

There in Shanghai, a guy made me know why,

“Hey, actually you are not bad.“

I felt stunned with big gape.

Anonymous here and there, staring at me to share,

“Bla bla bla bla ...”

I don’t remember a thing.

Even from city of prosperity, I closed the dreamy eyes silly,

“Don’t close your eyes“

and the wind has gone never went.

I felt guilty for the crime, for making an impacted mind,

“You are a wonderful person“

I chose to evade for so long.

It was the very first time, I won pain from pleasure fine,

“If you don’t appreciate then…“

Off to the hell and I came back.

A friend with a vast room, I came no question in his chrome,

“Will you lend me read them?“

I asked but it is now never official.

Spectacle and fancy hair, off we on we went declared,

“This is our song.“

I listened with heart and still do.

A movie with tick and tag, another movie with depress,

“There is nothing to be said.”

Again, a crime that got me off the hook.

Walking down the windy beach, talking like an endless sea,

“You don’t smile today.“

I spent my time with cheering smile.

I was walking on the street, thinking to myself that the weather was just the one that I was anticipating all this while. It is 8-12C today, and with the little sprinkle all day long, one could expect the air just gone a little more chilly. And for that I am loving it.

It is strange that I prefer such a cold and damp weather than sunny side up, but I think it suits my personality and mood very well whenever I am alone. It is just the kind of temperature that I feel most of the time. Do you call it depression? I hardly agree, because while I was walking I was also listening to Khalil Fong and it seems the time was froze and I was walking on a cold street on my own with nothing but great music. It just feels so right~

Sure I’m missing all my family and friends there in Malaysia, then again, isn’t this weather just perfectly describing my loneliness and stay with me the whole time? I love 8-12C, I wish I can live with it for a long time more~

It has been some time since the release and big flop of the movie, but it didn’t stop me because I love the abundance of colors in the movie. And Wachowski’s bro talent, well, I have still no doubt even another flop at V for Venetta.

I couldn’t really concentrate on the movie because I was working and also eating at the same time, so it was pretty much on the off, but nevertheless, the buzzing colours on the TV set really stole my eye balls. It is made of a world of clean, metalic, shining and really sharp sights. It makes you feel like it is the future, but then again, the overdone computer graphics made me think twice. (especially right after that I watched HOME, and it really got me denied the whole future world concept).

The movie is pretty good, and the unavoidable Scott Porter and Matthew Fox are just way too yummy~ I do like Christina Ricci in this film, the bob just do her so good on her apple face and giant eyes.

I am never a racing car fan, but the movie visual feast is really a nice experience, I give a 3 stars over it (of course the other 2 belongs to both Rex wink wink)

I thought of I should be writing something down, but I am not really having a particular thought of writing anything right now. So this is just going to be some bla bla bla for me on this CNY eve.

I wanted to eat my favourite food but it was closed. I thought of playing Wii in front of my family would be swell, even though through a tiny Skype screen. I have just completed my first very much Wii game -Lost Winds, fun~ Today I went to gym and ran really well, and I was happy because I thought things wouldn’t be smooth, but eventually it did, well, the rain and festival did stop me from having a proper lunch with Kang and restricted my flower/plant shopping. I bought a pot however, it is entirely not my initial intention, but there it goes. Xiamen bitch has left the island for another original island, so my complete isolated life would commence for the next 7 days if I guessed alright. This is the first time I spent CNY in Xiamen, and I really don’t know what to expect, my only concern would be food, and eating Burger King slash McDonalds slash KFC for the next 7 days seems an awful but tasty choice. I wonder how much work do I need to give for the coming week, I wish this will be a bliss for me but it doesn’t really help in getting me out from my lazy self, this is just a very lame dilemma.

So what’s good for the next 7 days you say? well. I don’t know. Bow bow, applause applause, insecurity get up the stage now.

As anticipated, and as other forced elements to push me charging a little happiness for myself, I have bought myself a Wii console, after so many years, after so many tempting thoughts, after, well, so many unfavorable moments.

I think this must be what Karen does when she gets into my situation, or maybe not, she practically doesn’t need to have a reason at all. Then again, I am very excited that I have this, after so many years out of consoling games, I am now back with something fun (but would be more fun to play with a company of friends I think).

The price is RMB 2,009, including delivery fee, and yes, I bought from Taobao.com, the most expensive item so far. And yes, it is a risk, but I have grown to trust the site so much I could really enjoy buying anything there.

For the past few nights I have been playing, although I still have work to do, but yeah, no harm getting myself a little more me time if you know what I mean (apart from internet and “boredom” browsing). Last night I was playing Lost Wind, a really fun game which I am controlling the wind, the sensing control is really great~ totally love the game play and how it evolve a button into something so imaginatively powerful~ And yes, I STILL feel like I am playing a future technology although it’s been out like 4 years!!

I spent almost RMB2,000 on this trip, which 60% went to air ticket, the fucking expensive airlines who supplied me with cold bread and really lousy rice and weird tasted fish balls, and not to mentioned the smelly passengers whom I had to live with over a total return way of almost 4 hours. And they charged me for that, well, I paid for that comes to that, fucking stupid!

The airport, the bus, the street, the hostel, the food (even KFC!), the river, the traffic, the waiting, the service, the glaring of people, the price, they are all screaming at me like an angry bitch, shouting at me to get away from their fucking sight, wanting nothing more of me if ever I could offer a little bit of sympathy.

The buildings were shit, the food were shit, the drivers were shit, the sky was shit, the weather was shit, the crowd was shit, the culture was shit, the whole system was a total mess, like shitting in a bowl which is already leaking full of other people’s shit, and after your arse got smeared with other people and your own shit, you realized that there was no toilet paper…

And what so fucking wonderful was when you finished your 5 dragging days in torturing yourself and treating yourself like shit, you went back to lonely bitter cold Xiamen to only found out a bigger pile of shit was waiting for you, that you had to run to work straight as you landed, and to found out some deep shit fucker had revoked your access and you couldn’t work and the next day everyone was screaming at you why didn’t you got prepared for this shit, and it actually worked to make you think that you have regretted to take the trip even it was already shit, and it just made the 5 dragging days become more shit-ter than you could ever take for a fucking decision in your life.

(eh-hem, actually I wasn’t that depressed, it was only meant for literacy purpose. Well, except the last paragraph, to which we already know I am living in this bitter lonely cold Xiamen (smile~)